by Robert Piche on June 5, 2014

Alcohol doesn’t make the world go ‘round, but sometimes it makes it spin a bit faster!


I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I am drunk and drunk’s go to parties!

I am a recovering alcoholic. Or as my wife calls it “hungover”.

How do know when a man is planning for his future? He buys 2 cases instead of 1!

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor and not hold on!

I got so drunk one time I woke up in a bottle chalk outline!

I only drink 2x a year. On my birthday, and when it’s not my birthday!

What is a drunk mans idea of a balanced diet? A beer in each hand!

Swearing off booze is easy. I’ve done it thousands of times.

The cost of living just went up another dollar a fifth!

Studies show breast implants cause nausea and dizziness-from all the free drinks!

My wife drove me to drink and I have yet to say thank you!

I don’t drink all the time. Sometimes I sleep!

My boyfriend told me I don’t need to drink to make myself more fun, I told him I don’t I drink to make you more fun!

You might be a redneck if you’re ever too drunk to fish!